Why I Gently Advise Parents Not to Let Others Kiss Their Baby on the Mouth

Why I Gently Advise Parents Not to Let Others Kiss Their Baby on the Mouth

- By Monica Bykov, RN, IBCLC, Certified Newborn Care Specialist - 2025-2025

As a registered nurse and newborn care specialist, I’ve had the privilege of supporting families through those precious early weeks of life—when bonding, boundaries, and baby’s health all come into sharp focus. One question I hear often, usually whispered with some hesitation, is:
"Is it really that bad to let people kiss the baby on the mouth?"

My answer, gently but firmly, is always the same: it’s not worth the risk. Here’s why.

1. Newborn Immune Systems Are Still Developing

In those first few weeks, a baby’s immune system is like an open door. They haven’t had time to build antibodies or develop defenses against common viruses and bacteria. What might give an adult a minor cold—or no symptoms at all—could lead to serious complications for a newborn.

Viruses like RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), influenza, and even the common cold can hit infants hard. RSV, for instance, is one of the leading causes of hospitalization in babies under 6 months (1).

2. The Silent Risk of HSV-1 (Cold Sores)

This one is particularly concerning. Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 (HSV-1) is extremely contagious, even when no visible cold sores are present. Most adults don’t realize they’re carrying it—and kissing a baby on the lips can transmit it in seconds.

In newborns, HSV can be devastating. Oral contact with an infected adult can lead to neonatal herpes, which can affect the baby’s brain, liver, and lungs. In severe cases, it can even be fatal (2).

There have been heartbreaking cases of infants becoming critically ill—or worse—after a seemingly innocent kiss from a well-meaning relative or visitor.

3. Boundary-Setting Is a Form of Protection

Sometimes, advising parents to avoid mouth kisses isn’t about assuming people have bad intentions—it’s about creating a culture of respect around a vulnerable baby.

I often encourage parents to use phrases like:

“We’re keeping kisses to the top of the head for now, just to be safe.”
or
“We’re asking everyone to wash hands and skip kisses—doctor’s orders.”

These gentle but clear boundaries not only reduce infection risk but also reinforce that protecting baby’s health comes first.

4. Love Isn’t Measured in Kisses

I remind families often: You don’t need to kiss a baby on the lips to show love. Snuggling, holding, cooing, and safely kissing a baby’s head or feet (after a handwash!) are all deeply bonding experiences.

It’s not about fear—it’s about informed love. Love that protects, even when it means saying no.

Final Thoughts

As a nurse and a mother, I know how intoxicating that baby smell is. I understand the instinct to smother them with affection. But in the early weeks, their little bodies just aren’t ready for the germs we carry—no matter how “healthy” we feel.

So if you’ve ever wondered whether it’s okay to say “no mouth kisses,” take it from me: Yes. Absolutely. Say it. Enforce it. And know that you’re doing the right thing.

References:

  1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Respiratory Syncytial Virus Infection (RSV). https://www.cdc.gov

  2. American Academy of Pediatrics. Neonatal Herpes Simplex Virus Infections. https://www.aap.org